Overcoming my Fear

My heart is beating fast. I let out a breath and the words " Oh S*!T; what have I done?" cross my mind! I stepped out of my comfort zone. I put my self out there in the world. Unprotected, vulnerable trusting that what happens next is meant to be. I went against the negative voices in my brain and I followed my heart. Now those voices of fear are trying to get me to turn and run. Run and hide and pretend I never ventured out today. Breath...be strong. I call a friend so she can boost my confidence. It works...a little. Fear is powerful, and it can consume our lives without you or I even being aware. I see it for what it is. Some call it the ego or your inner bully. It is just trying to help like an overprotective mother. I want to live in the light not hide in the shadow of fear, regret and worry.

Today I am aware of my fear. I am reading May Cause Miracles by Gabrielle Bernstein and today is the first day of 40 days of my commitment to miracle work. Fear is easy to spot when you meet it head on, like stepping out of your comfort zone and doing the things you have always been too afraid to do. I have one hundred reasons why I shouldn't follow my dreams and only one reason to. My one reason is ....I want this.

The hundred reasons against my dream is the resistance. I know I am in for some radical changes in my life because of all the resistance. Just like when I started the elimination diet I had physical resistance in the form of food cravings and moodiness. I did the diet and I am better for it. Now, I am following a dream and creating a new life. I am going big and the resistance is just as big.

On the Canvas
I am doing some intuitive painting this week. I am just letting the brush and paint do their thing while I clear my mind. This type of process painting is very meditative and it often produces ugly paintings. That is ok, because the importance is on the process...the actual doing and not the outcome. I am also renaming my fear. Thank you Mario Forleo and her fiance Josh Pais. I now call my fear vibrations my fire! The burning motivation I need to keep moving and keep creating. 

Please comment below of your dreams and fears. I would love to hear from you.

Oprah's people called me...wink... wink!

Oprah's people called my people about doing an interview on her show " Super Soul Sunday"! Of course this has not happened yet. It is in my dreams. I believe it is possible, because I live in a world of miracles. 

It is easy to get depressed after watching the news. It is easy to get discouraged with your never-ending "TO DO LIST". It is also easy to sell yourself short when a new opportunity shows itself. It is easy to compare ourselves to others and feel not enough.  Somehow our culture has steered us into thinking our world is only made of fear and regret. I choose to live in a world where there are miracles.

Mindfullness: visit from a raccoon!

I see miracles everyday through my children's eyes. We all were children once upon a time. We were amazed at rainbows and we were struck with giggles at the sight of a grasshopper jumping around our feet. Adulthood has blinded us from the everyday miracles that surround us. It doesn't have to be this way. You and I can choose to live in a world of miracles.

Mindfullness: First tooth!

I started off small.  I picked up a camera and created an Instagram account. I started to document all the simple pleasures of my everyday life.  Something magical happens when you look through a lens. The ordinary seems extraordinary. I started a compliment or great things jar. I write down on scrap paper all the good things that happen. Now I have an arsenal of positive thinking to combat against my negative thoughts.  I stopped watching the the news. I skim the headlines online instead. I protect myself from the details and the slanted opinions of the media.

MIndfullness: looking up a tree.

Next I renamed my to do list the "Ta Da List" or the "I Deserve This List"  For example; I deserve clean dishes and clothes. I deserve an organized pantry. Whenever possible use chocolate! I pay my bills while eating chocolate and shifted my perspective from bills = ugh to money love!

Mindfullness: pea vine in the garden.

Seriously? You might be thinking this chick has no sense of reality.  I used to be a pessimist.  I used to be on Zoloft. I used to complain a lot...I mean a lot! I complained so much that I got tired of it. That's why I made some changes. I chose to live in a different world. When I made this shift I opened myself up to possibilities as big as the universe it self. At first you may not believe in the positive thinking ,but it will slowly become automatic. When the bad or unfair stuff happens, I pray. I ask for help. I surround myself with the people I love and I try to find the gem in the dark cave. You can't change your circumstances but you can change how you feel and react to them.

Mindfullness: Niagara Falls.

On the Canvas:
 Check out more of my photos on Instagram as Mindfulcanvas.
 Please comment below. I would love to hear how you keep a smile on your face!

Till we meet again my creative friends.
Jenni

Special note: If you Google Ta Da List you will find everything from web apps to free printables. Eating chocolate while paying your bills is a great tip I got from Bari Tessler.